• Listening carefully;
• Spending time with the traumatised person, especially in the early days following the event;
• Offering your assistance even when they have not asked for it;
• Reassuring them that they are safe, that distressing symptoms will pass and that these reactions are understandable given what you have experienced.
• Giving them time and space;
• Allowing them to grieve for lost abilities, good health or the loss of or damage to material possessions;
• Not taking their anger or moodiness personally;
• Not telling them to ‘buck up’ or ‘they are lucky it wasn’t worse’ - traumatised people are rarely consoled by such statements;
• Offering practical help.

Trauma involves the whole family.
Although family and friends may have escaped actual injury they also may feel:

   Where life seemed stable and predictable before the trauma, changes have taken place, sometimes dramatically, sometimes forever. Career paths, emotional well-being, financial stability, family roles may all change. There may be stress and confusion where families try to process new information (particularly medical and technical terms). It is important to feel free to ask for explanations, even if you ask the same question many times. Health professionals understand that it is difficult to take in new information when under stress.

   While family and friends will differ in their responses to the trauma survivor, many find it difficult to treat the patient ‘normally’. They may hide their true feelings in an effort to distance themselves from distress or to spare the patient. Families may also cover up negative feelings which they may see as potentially harmful to the patients (eg anger, blame). It is, however, important for communication to remain open and for deception to be avoided even if it initially appears to protect the patient.

   Serious injury is a complex phenomenon and in the early stages of treatment and recovery the patient is often in an injury fog induced by pain, medication and unfamiliarity with the hospital system.

   These are some ideas that may help:

• To recover, making your own well-informed decisions about your treatment is important. This can be difficult at first when you may feel helpless and disoriented.
• Be open and assertive with health professionals about your concerns. It’s OK to take time out to make important decisions or request a second opinion.
• Your injury, treatment program and recovery are unique to you. It is important that you refrain from comparing yourself to others.
• Emotional turmoil is to be expected in this early phase of recovery. It may feel overwhelming at times, this may reflect adjustments your injury demands.
• If you are responsible for the accident/injury it is important to analyse the event from a non-blaming perspective (ie as an impartial observer) so that you take responsibility and not blame anyone or anything for what has happened. Self blame and guilt can increase pain and distress by increasing stress levels.

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